Post by Batman (Bruce Wayne) on Apr 22, 2013 20:17:31 GMT -5
Audition post
Of late it always seemed to happen the same way; Terry McGinnis would be out with Dana Tan, his family, a new girlfriend, or Max and the phone would ring. The man most often at the other end of the line was none other than the retired Batman, Bruce Wayne – the unknowing biological father and mentor. This night was no different though the results of what was to be a typical bust of some Jokerz would be.
“Some Jokerz are breaking into a Gotham neighborhood. They have hostages and the police can't act. Get in there and clean up.” Even in old age Bruce still had a commanding voice, leaving those he spoke to with little room to argue, not that the young Batman would think to argue in a situation like this anyways. “I'm on it.” Terry would come back, hands tightening on the controls to the futuristic Batmobile.
The trip through the air would end with the new Batman dropping out from the bottom hatch of his ride, leaving it to auto-pilot out of the way as it most often did Landing in a roll McGinnis wouldn't waste time in activating the suit's cloaking device, those white eyes narrowing as he tried to hone in on what was going on. The sounds of police sirens and one of the officers talking through a megaphone was easy to pick out and gave him a direction to travel in.
A higher vantage point was needed and quick use of his rocket-equipped boots would allow him to get to the roof of the house he had landed behind. Right hand moves up to touch his temple, honing in the built-in rangefinders on the windows of the hostage's home. “I can only see Jokerz from here, no sign of the...Wait a minute, there is something strange going on inside.” Strange white flashes of light had caught the man's attention, causing eyes to narrow as he tried to focus in. “What do you think it is?” Terry had seen plenty of weapons that could create light, however few of them were without explosions and even fewer still were those that the street gang would have access too.
“Not sure, but keep on your guard.” Bruce would warn, though Terry wouldn't bother answering. Even after all these years McGinnis was a hot-headed man and took the route of action nine times out of ten. Tonight it would land him diving off of the roof of a house, black and red wings spread to give him temporary flight, and soon enough through the window of another. Laughter sounded from another room loud enough that even shattering glass couldn't cover it up. Cloaking device deactivated by the tumble, Batman would prepare himself for combat by drawing one of the folded Batarangs into his right hand. Keeping low to the ground he would approach the doorway to the kitchen, and cover ground until he reached the doorway leading to the garage.
The source of the flashing would come into focus, causing the young Bat's eyes to go wide. “What...What is that?” Voice barely above a whisper, the tone one of shock. There before his eyes rested a strange swirling portal, the source a teen wearing an actual Joker-like costume and a strange belt around his waist. At the clown's feet rested a man in a far stranger suit and a young woman – it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. “You know, you really shouldn't play with others' toys.” The lead gang member would look over, in time to have the earlier drawn Batarang knock the strange belt from his hand.
The Joker would let out a sound of surprise, the Batarang barely missing him – though it did cause the young man to fall back toward the portal. “If it isn't Batman...Come to ruin all the fun. But that's okay...” The belt-holding hand is used to gesture around them, at all the strange relics of the past. “I think I have a better idea of a part, one filled with plenty of shiny new toys!”
Intent was clear – the thug planned to go through the, well, whatever it was. Batman's arms jerked upwards, the sound of the twin auto-fired disks being fired filled the air. The attack would be too late, the disks shattering glass around as well as vanishing with a flash into the portal. The Joker would follow after, his laughter echoing in McGinnis's ears. “Great, any idea where it leads?” The question was aimed at Bruce through the suit. “None, and until we do, you're not go--” “We don't have time to wait, from what that young punk was saying there were more 'toys' in there. I don't need to remind you what type of 'toys' they like.” That brash nature was coming out openly, hand already moving to click the button on the side of his suit – the Batmobile would already be on it's way to his location. “I'm going in. You can track me through the suit...” And without further warning he would be jumping through...
...Only to fall out into the sounds of cars – and not the type that were normally flying around Neo-Gotham. The world around him was green, trees and singing birds suggested perhaps he was in a park. Behind the portal remained for the time being. “Bruce?” Hand reaches up to touch his mask once more. “Old man? You there?” No response, not even static. Something...Wasn't right to say the least...And there was no sign of the Joker or the belt.
“Great. Let's try and figure out where I am...Or when...”
My critique here is that you jump around between who is doing what. IE: You refer to Terry's life at the beginning and then change it to Batman. Then you jump back to Terry and McGinnis for a while and then switch it again to Batman.
I understand the part of trying to explain things from Terry McGinnis' point of view, and to other players they like it. To me, it's distracting and annoying. - If others like it, don't change because of a grumpy old man.
Overall
It's an okay post, to me however; consistent feedback about your application is that it is good. My opinion is that you have a bit you can learn from RPing with us and welcome you on board.
